Chapter 42
Years had gone by. Yajnyawalkya did not know whether he had conquered fate or was himself conquered. Janaka had been away on the battlefield. But he had seen to it that Yajnyawalkya's hermitage back home would be cared for and Yajnyawalkya would live in Videha free of all material worries, and be able to devote himself to Metaphysics. Gargi continued to be Yajnyawalkya's disciple.
Janaka returned to Videha, weary and forlorn with the scenes of carnage. No philosophy could as yet assuage the distaste caused by war. A profound weariness had set in. At night the moon seemed beautiful but annihilating, grieving at the world below. At daytime the moon looked ridiculous like Janaka looking around for a source from which to borrow light. Could he look to Yajnyawalkya for light? And how long could the Self shine with borrowed light? For several days Janaka remained cut off from the world around in his chamber with curtains drawn. He had distaste for the light of the sun. Even during the day his dark chamber was engulfed by the light of oil lamps.
Janaka looked at the light in the lamp. It was a steady little flame soaking up whatever oil was left there. Janaka watched it listlessly and then decided to call for Yajnyawalkya.
….......................
Yajnyawalkya had just returned from his bath when he received the royal summons.
Janaka looked up as he felt the presence of someone standing by his bedside. It was Yajnyawalkya watching him vigilantly. Janaka saw anxiety in his eyes, but made no visible response. There was an impenetrable silence between them. Two weary warriors were unable to communicate across the barrier, and gods in heaven were eager to see what was to grow out of that silence.
“Yajnyawalkya, we are strangers to each other. You are not looking at Janaka, the king, nor am I Janaka, your friend of yore. You are looking at a stranger. I do not know who I am, a king or a beggar!I do not know where I will be after this life! Help me, Yajnyawalkya; help me my friend, to cross the final bridge.”
Yajnyawalkya was pained to hear his friend uttering the words with such finality. He realized everything in a moment of clarity and yet was unable to find the words to describe the change that had occurred. But the change was there, undeniably and painfully there.
Yajnyawalkya stared at this magnanimous being. He was there before his eyes and yet far away, his mind devoid of emotions. But what did Yajnyawalkya see in those unstaring eyes? Fear? Yes, it was fear of the void, and the infinity that may lie behind the void, inaccessible yet and still there eternally. Yajnyawalkya could see the aloneness of humanity when confronted by that void.
Janaka spoke, but his voice sounded like a gong from an unseen world.
“I have seen life and I have seen death, O Yajnyawalkya. Tell me O sage, what happens to the vitality of this body when the breath ceases.”
Yajnyawalkya took a deep pause. He tried to remember when and how he and Janaka were brought together by the unseen hand of the providence. It was not an event in time. It was always there, with no beginning and no end. He remembered how this man was passionately engaged in holding a converse with him at all levels, how he raged with fury whenever hr failed to draw out every secret of Yajnyawalkya's mind because he believed, it held open a gateway to knowledge. Now as Yajnyawalkya gazed at him, there was no trace of the former passion. Suddenly Yajnyawalkya found himself in the presence of a disembodied spirit, no longer possessed by the desire to know, no longer driven by the will to accomplish and conquer, no longer in need to see and be seen.
Yajnyawalkya did not address Janaka as he looked deep into the void to find a language for his thoughts.
“There is light in the innermost chamber of one's being even as one closes the eyes that see light. There is light on the path ahead. That's the light of your being. Why the fear? Is it because you will not see the light? You are in the light. I can see you in it my friend!”
Years had gone by. Yajnyawalkya did not know whether he had conquered fate or was himself conquered. Janaka had been away on the battlefield. But he had seen to it that Yajnyawalkya's hermitage back home would be cared for and Yajnyawalkya would live in Videha free of all material worries, and be able to devote himself to Metaphysics. Gargi continued to be Yajnyawalkya's disciple.
Janaka returned to Videha, weary and forlorn with the scenes of carnage. No philosophy could as yet assuage the distaste caused by war. A profound weariness had set in. At night the moon seemed beautiful but annihilating, grieving at the world below. At daytime the moon looked ridiculous like Janaka looking around for a source from which to borrow light. Could he look to Yajnyawalkya for light? And how long could the Self shine with borrowed light? For several days Janaka remained cut off from the world around in his chamber with curtains drawn. He had distaste for the light of the sun. Even during the day his dark chamber was engulfed by the light of oil lamps.
Janaka looked at the light in the lamp. It was a steady little flame soaking up whatever oil was left there. Janaka watched it listlessly and then decided to call for Yajnyawalkya.
….......................
Yajnyawalkya had just returned from his bath when he received the royal summons.
Janaka looked up as he felt the presence of someone standing by his bedside. It was Yajnyawalkya watching him vigilantly. Janaka saw anxiety in his eyes, but made no visible response. There was an impenetrable silence between them. Two weary warriors were unable to communicate across the barrier, and gods in heaven were eager to see what was to grow out of that silence.
“Yajnyawalkya, we are strangers to each other. You are not looking at Janaka, the king, nor am I Janaka, your friend of yore. You are looking at a stranger. I do not know who I am, a king or a beggar!I do not know where I will be after this life! Help me, Yajnyawalkya; help me my friend, to cross the final bridge.”
Yajnyawalkya was pained to hear his friend uttering the words with such finality. He realized everything in a moment of clarity and yet was unable to find the words to describe the change that had occurred. But the change was there, undeniably and painfully there.
Yajnyawalkya stared at this magnanimous being. He was there before his eyes and yet far away, his mind devoid of emotions. But what did Yajnyawalkya see in those unstaring eyes? Fear? Yes, it was fear of the void, and the infinity that may lie behind the void, inaccessible yet and still there eternally. Yajnyawalkya could see the aloneness of humanity when confronted by that void.
Janaka spoke, but his voice sounded like a gong from an unseen world.
“I have seen life and I have seen death, O Yajnyawalkya. Tell me O sage, what happens to the vitality of this body when the breath ceases.”
Yajnyawalkya took a deep pause. He tried to remember when and how he and Janaka were brought together by the unseen hand of the providence. It was not an event in time. It was always there, with no beginning and no end. He remembered how this man was passionately engaged in holding a converse with him at all levels, how he raged with fury whenever hr failed to draw out every secret of Yajnyawalkya's mind because he believed, it held open a gateway to knowledge. Now as Yajnyawalkya gazed at him, there was no trace of the former passion. Suddenly Yajnyawalkya found himself in the presence of a disembodied spirit, no longer possessed by the desire to know, no longer driven by the will to accomplish and conquer, no longer in need to see and be seen.
Yajnyawalkya did not address Janaka as he looked deep into the void to find a language for his thoughts.
“There is light in the innermost chamber of one's being even as one closes the eyes that see light. There is light on the path ahead. That's the light of your being. Why the fear? Is it because you will not see the light? You are in the light. I can see you in it my friend!”
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